GRIM: Self love with the Specter of Souls feat. Caleb Davy (not canon)

//sadness and need of comfort is something every human being needs in life, but where do you go when you need self love? Some go to a therapist for "professional help", others go to their parent's because why not? I guess I'm a bit different because while I do use both of those things as a resource for help, I find self love, validation, and comfort, within not only my own prayers to God in heaven but within the walls of my own imaginitive mind. As a fiction writer I also take on the role of the creater of worlds, and it's only natural that I invest in these worlds but there is one world I go to most often, because I feel the safest, it's not Heaven but it'll do till I get there. It's a bar called [[Valhalla.]]

//Sometimes I get so in my feelings tears blur my vision and eventually everything goes black. Valhalla begins to appear while I'm in a state of extreme emotion of any kind. The best way to describe is a bar in purgatory for the dead, supernatural, and lost. Inside I see him waiting for me, the Grim Reaper.// Grim: Well look who it is! It took you long enough to get here in person instead of just thinking about it. Caleb: Haha yeah, sorry I've been busy to say the least. It's been a rough semester. Grim: Oof the ol' college life, huh? Never understood why you mortals always fall for a trap like that, you go there thinking you'll "find yourself" only to find out that it's made you more of a sad sack of shit than you already were, but what's the shitshow this time, kid? [[Professor's bullshit]]? [[Girls]]? or is it [[self loathing again]]? Not saying I care all that much, it's just that mortal crises tend to make interesting coversation and it's a great excuse to drink. Caleb: Yeeeaaah it's kinda all three of those. Grim: Goddamn... yeah you really do need a drink, //he slides me a glass.// Caleb: I can't drink yet. Grim: Relaaax it's just ginger ale //he winks//

Grim: So this is the part where you tell me that you hate yourself and that you're a piece of shit, right? Caleb: Actually no, Grim: Huh? Caleb: I've actually been on a pretty solid path of loving myself and accepting every part of me even the physical parts. I recognize that I'm a king, a miracle, and a legend. I know I'm intelligent, and highly creative, and overall a kind person. I tell myself this almost everyday and I've written stuff like this down to fall back on when times get tough. Grim: Oh. well uh... good. Good job kid, that's awesome, I happy for you, looks like I don't have to take another sho- Caleb: but- Grim: Goddamn it! there it is. Caleb: Sometimes I feel like self love doesn't fill the void. I do love myself very much, but I also want someone else to come along and apreciate me along with me, y'know? Family isn't always gonna be there to pat me on the back. I guess what I'm tryna say is I'm on a quest for itimacy someone who can truly accept me for me when I can't do it all the time. y'know before I get to heaven. I don't really have standards like the some people, I have values, and I just want someone who'll align with not even all of them but enough, and for them to hold me close and all that other sappy shit. I don't expect you to understand it's kind of a mortal thing. Grim: I actually relate to that more than you know kid. Caleb: Yeah I had a feeling. Hey Grim? Grim: Yeah kid? Caleb can I have hug? Grim: Uh- I don't really do hugs but sure, buddy. //I wrap my arms around his long black cloak, and I can feel his sharp cold hands on my back but I dont mind, it's just nice to get a hug again// Grim: you'll find her kid, I know I don't like mortals all that much but I know not all of them suck, you sure don't and she's gonna see that just like I do. Caleb: Thanks Grim, THE END.

Grim: So who's the asshole with a degree that screwed you over this time? Caleb: My English teacher Grim: Your English teacher?! Geez, that's a first. The hell happened there? Caleb: It's a long story but basically the guy had little to no communication skills with the class and I basically carried the whole class when it came to essays and answering questions. There was this one time where I spent hours helping other people with their assignments because they need help. I barely got my paper in on time, turns out they got higher grades than me. Grim: Well there goes my sympathy for your dumbass, not that I had any to begin with. Caleb: What? Grim: You're kidding right? you really spent your efforts on people who gave less of a shit about the class while your own work suffered the lesser grade? Damn kid, for someone highly intelligent you really are a fucking idiot. Caleb: But they needed help! I wasn't gonna let them suffer when I knew how to help! Grim: Yeah, look where that got you? resenting the success of others and salty as all hell. Learn to put yourself first, and carry the load of others second, I deal with you worthless mortal souls BEFORE I get utterly wasted with my only two friends. Prioties kid, learn them. Now, I know you've been surrounded by [[Girls]] all semester so whats up with that.

Caleb: So there was this girl- Grim: Jesus Christ kid, please don't tell me you caught feelings for a chick that didn't give a fuck about your feelings again? Caleb: Uh... kinda? Grim: //mumbles to himself while his boney hands are pressed against his face// This motherfucker.... Alright spill. Caleb: Well she was actually pretty chill, I met her by accident at lunch one day, and from there we just sort of clicked y'know? Eventually we started hanging out, she would come over and we would watch movies, play video games, and just talk all night. We even started watching the MCU movies together and we were gonna watch Star Wars an- Grim: I KNEW IT! That's when you caught feelings wasn't it?! Fucking nerds man!! You find a "gamer girl" or some chick whose just a tad bit intrested in geek culture and all of a sudden you're just SMITTEN with emotions goddamn! So she found a way into your nerdy little heart and said the magic words and you were fucking hooked! Caleb: Geez! let me finish! Grim: Bet you never heard those words from her did you? Caleb: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! No! It wasn't just the movies and video games man, it was the deep coversations late at night, and the vibe in the car, and the wit and banter, it was really something special, I did shoot my shot and she turned me down but really I didn't care, I still had the friendship and it was enough for me. Grim: So if getting shot down didn't crush your soul then- Caleb: Then one day she called me up and told me that she was getting too busy and she didn't wanna see me anymore. Grim: Woah. Just like that? Caleb: Yup. Just like that. I knew something was off, for starters there were the extremely late replies. It took nearly a week for her to reply sometimes and it got to the point where I would second guess and delete text because I didn't know if she would respond in time if at all. I started to think I was bothering her and I wanted to say something but told myself I was overreacting and that everything was fine. Grim: Uh huh. Yeah, I'm just gonna take a shot everytime you knowingly screw yourself over. Also this is why I don't give two shits about you mortals. Caleb: Seriously?! Why?! Grim: Why? You had a gut feeling something was wrong, you felt "a disturbance in the force" as you nerds and geeks say, but you didn't act! You didn't love or trust yourself enough to abandon ship and you got played for it. It's ok though, you were in love, and people do the stupidest shit when in love. Caleb: What?! No! We were just friends! Grim: Sure, "a friend" made you ignore your gut insticts even though there were clear signs she was flakey and unreliable as shit. "a friend" totally made you excited with butterflies and shit every time y'all hung out together, yeah kid I'm sure you guys were best pals. Listen kid, you wanna have fun dating without getting hurt? don't get attached. at all. Sure, have a ball playing video games and movies and all that with the next girl that comes your way, but at the end of the day you have you, no one else and despite what your fake scenarios want you to believe, she thinks you're cool, but she's probably thinking of someone else most likely, maybe not, but it's probably not you. Most likely. Caleb: Harsh. Grim: But true. Be careful who you share your feelings with kid, and I know there's a here that your just not seeing. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna take a shot while you wallow in [[self loathing again]] and pity.